I have NO PROBLEM starting stuff.
In fact, I am a “super starter”. It used to be my Super Power.
I loved planning, researching, getting excited, visioning all the glory (and that’s just planning a holiday)…..and then, as soon as I actually START…it all fizzles out. I lose my ‘umph”. I lose interest and motivation….and then, nothing. It all evaporates.
This sad circle was amplified by drinking, of course.
Nothing like some Merlot Motivation to get things started, and then the hangover, both literally and metaphorically to kill the follow through.
Drinking in itself, just the physical effects, does nothing to help productivity or endurance. Most of my “start up” projects required consistent hard work to get to the finish line.
More than the daily morning hangover, my self-esteem took a beating. I just got used to believing that my life wouldn’t amount to much.
I stopped drinking.
Just the very achievement of getting sober gave me some confidence. Just enough to get started…and then to keep going. Going and going until I saw the finish line.
Crossing a finish line, actually completing a project, gives me a better buzz than booze ever did..
I am starting a new project. A writing project.
When I was little, I always assumed that I would grow up and become a writer. It was my destiny.
And then I trod over my destiny, trampled it with self doubt and fear.
But I’ve dusted off those old dreams, and now….
I am a Finisher.